Art of Seduction

Last Tuesday night in Birmingham, 40 people gathered to practice the "Art of Seduction".

The evening was filled with a flurry of activity and energy with the emphasis on flirting and a good number of phone numbers were exchanged in the process! Great fun was had by all.

Everyone should learn the "Art of Seduction", to find out how visit www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk

Business Networking is Just Like Dating

I'm due to speak at the Birmingham YES Group this evening, Thursday 14th September.

The title of my talk is "Networking is Like Dating" and I will explain how you can develop the six key social skills you need to make meeting new people both enjoyable and rewarding.

You can get a summary of my talk and have a look at my recommended reading list by going to www.spalton.co.uk/talks/dating.html

E-mail me if you want to know more, my contact details are in my profile and on my web site.

Situational Openers

When you have a chance encounter with someone, most people don't know how to start a conversation. In fact, the best way is to look at the situation you're both in and make a 'sparky' comment. Things that interest or puzzle you and are likely to interest them.

"I hate these new PIN numbers"
"That stuff looks fun, doesn't it?"
"This looks good, have you tried the sausages?"
"Fancy only having one barman"
"We've been waiting ages, is this train always late?"
"You know, they never seem to put anything on special offer that I really want"
"Excuse me, but I've just got to say that I think you're T-shirt is fantastic"
"Now those look fattening, but terrific!"

The trick is to not think too hard about what you're going to say, because you'll 'chicken-out'. The best way is to trust your luck and just look at the situation you're both in, turn to other person and say the first thing that comes in your head.

If you want to learn some other ways to start conversations with strangers, come along to a Flirting Safari.

As one guy said recently... Hi Peter, I came on your Flirting Safari yesterday. I like to say thank you, it is quite cool - did end up getting a number yesterday evening - from a gorgeous 27 year old girl at a station, using a situational opener, which would never have happened without the training had from you.

Chat Up Strangers in Art Galleries and Exhibitions

Art galleries and exhibitions are a great place to meet people, because they are a relaxed environment like Waterstones or Borders. People have time to browse and seem happy to chat.

The best way to approach someone is when they are standing looking at a picture or exhibit. Come along side them, and after a few seconds say something that strikes you about the picture or exhibit. Maybe something like... "I love the way he's captured the shadows."

You've then got keep the conversation going. You could ask them if they've been here before, whether they're on a visit for the day or on holiday, or if they saw another exhibition that you also went to. Then listen to what they say and follow any interesting things they might mention to build the conversation.

Practice makes you perfect, so talk to anyone in three feet.

To learn the best way to approach strangers, come on one of my Flirting Safaris.

Make Small Talk Big

Got some great feedback from the workshop that I did in Sheffield last Thursday evening.

The session was called "What to Say After Hello" and covered the art of small talk and how to build rapport with others. Sixteen people attended the workshop at the Showroom Cinema in the centre of Sheffield. One of them e-mailed me and said...

"Hi Peter Thanks for the chat up lessons. Very enlightening and entertaining! I'll have to get the notes off your system to remind me."

If you want to look at the notes too, check out http://www.followthethread.com

Dating in Birmingham

This week I'm running two dating events with a difference.

A Singles Evening at Selfridges on Tuesday 7th March

An opportunity to mix with other single people at an after hours evening in Birmingham's premier shop.

More at http://www.selfridges.com/index.cfm?page=1033&element=4848

A Flirting Safari on Saturday 11th March

A unique chance for just four people to learn & practice how to chat up complete strangers in Birmingham city centre.

Book at www.flirtingsafari.com

Flirting Safari in Sheffield

Just recorded a radio interview about the Flirting Safari to be broadcast on BBC Radio Sheffield at 7:45 tomorrow, Thursday 16th February. Click here to listen live on the internet.

Browse www.flirtingsafari.com to discover more about my Flirting Safari. I run them on most Saturdays around the country - Sheffield this Saturday the 18th February, Bristol on the 4th March.

The Dating Doctor on TV

Valentine's Day and a big TV day for me.

This morning I was on Sky News at 8:45 am with Eamonn Holmes and Lorna Dunkley talking about the cost of Valentine's Day, being unpredictable and how we chat up strangers on my Flirting Safari.

At 11:30 I did a short piece on Channel 5 with Kate Gerbeau. There we chatted about romance, confidence and the power of a smile.

Social Skills

Tomorrow I'm due to talk to the London chapter of the Chartered Institute of Public Relations at the Cumberland Hotel at Marble Arch. The reception area of the hotel is out of this world.

The title of my talk is "Body Talk - the art of successful communication for business & pleasure". And I will explain how you can develop the six key social skills you need to make your business and social networking enjoyable and rewarding.You can get a summary of my talk and have a look at my recommended reading list by going to

Flirting Safari in London

Saturday was a fun day... eleven people came on two of my Flirting Safaris around Covent garden. Four girls and seven guys.

We met over coffee and I explained the best ways to approach strangers. We then hit the shops to hunt for single people to chat up. First we went to Stanfords, the map shop, and then went on to Waterstones.

After about 20 minutes chatting to people in Waterstones we moved on to Clinton Cards and HMV. Finally we hit the market area and finished with a drink and review in a local pub.

You can find out more about the Flirting Safari at www.flirtingsafari.com

Tips for Speed Dating

Ran a good workshop last night - "How to Increase your Speed Dating Matches". Twenty four people attended, we had great fun and they practiced a lot of good stuff. One of the things we talked about was the Seven Dating Sins. Here they are:

Appearing nervous and unnatural – it’s important to look confident and hold your head up high (put an angel on your shoulder).

Being self-centred and talking me, me, me. Try and use lots of open and indirect questions so you appear interested in the other person and what they like and dislike.

Appearing to interrogate the other person by asking closed questions, personal questions and questions that are hard to answer.

Showing Boredom – looking around the room, playing with a beer mat, scribbling notes in front of the other person.

Not being interested in the other person. Try and use your body language to build rapport. Make sure you come across as enthusiastic and passionate. Genuine passion will always be clearly communicated and, most importantly, remembered.

Expecting too much. Being intense, talking too fast and moving too fast. Take it easy - build rapport, appear interesting and funny.

Unpacking emotional baggage and talking about your past relationships.

For more dating and flirting tips go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk

What to Say Before Hello

When you have a chance encounter with someone, most people don't know how to start a conversation. In fact you just need to look at the other person and the situtaion you are both in, and then use one of six ways to start a conversation.

American way, just say hi…
• "hi, how are you today?"

Comment about the situation you are both in…
• "I think the train's going to be late again."

Ask their advice…
• "have you seen a book on...?"

Mention what they’re wearing…
• "I love your shoes/necklace/T shirt, where did you get it?"

Observe what they’re doing…
• "gosh that food looks good, what have you got?"

Match what they’re feeling…
• "phew, it’s been a long day already."

The best approach is one that makes the other person smile or laugh. So try and come out with something sparky, witty or unusual. But don't spend too much time thinking about what to say as you'll lose your confidence and the moment will have passed you by.

To get more hints and tips on how to approach and talk to strangers check out www.flirtingsafari.com

Tips for Chating Up Strangers

These are some of the tips that I talk about on the Flirting Safari.

Hunt Where They Browse

• check out the situation.
• wait for them to stop, then speak.

Talk to Anyone Within Three Feet

• notice their body language.
• make eye contact and smile.
• get your eyes on same level, then speak.

Speak

• ask a question.
• make a statement or give an opinion.
• combine into a statement-question.

I'll give you some ideas of what to say next time.

Flirting Safari in Birmingham

Fantastic fun on Saturday. Six men discovered the secrets of chatting up strangers around the Bull Ring in Birmingham.

Organised for Spice (http://www.spicebham.com/) the Safari was sold out within a week and was featured on Heart FM and the Birmingham press.



The Flirting Safari is a great opportunity for men and women to gain confidence and practice their chat up skills. To find out more about a Flirting Safari in Birmingham and Manchester, click here.

Speed Dating Result

Well Thelma said she had "a fun night" speed dating last week... "better than expected".

I even think that she got a match with Tony from Newark.

A good result, and a fun evening.


Thelma in the studio at BBC Radio Nottingham

Speed Dating Tips on Radio Nottingham

Thelma, who is going speed dating on Thursday evening, is to get tips and advice on the radio. Peter Spalton, the Dating Doctor, will coach her live on-air on Thursday morning.

Tune in to BBC Radio Nottingham at 95.5 or 103.8 FM on Thursday 18 August at around 11am to hear his advice and her response. Or listen on the internet via http://www.bbc.co.uk/england/radionottingham/

Signs of Attraction

When we fancy someone our body sends out signals that tell the other person we’re interested in them. You read them subconsciously and get that warm feeling...

Read the full article on The Signs of Sexual Attraction.

Flirting & Dating Workshop

A great evening - 32 singletons attended the Dating Doctor's Flirting and Dating workshop for Friends First in Birmingham. Two had travelled from Newcastle on Tyne, one from Taunton and another from Norwich.

Comments like...

"...great workshop, well put together and beautifully executed."

"...an excellent evening, didn't want it to finish."

Dating Tips in Wolverhampton

Last week I did a half hour radio interview on One City FM, a community radio in Wolverhampton. Two bubbly presenters (Nix & Mazz) and lots of interesting questions on flirting and dating.

One of the most interesting questions from Nix was "Why do most guys find it hard to chat up a gorgeous girl?" The answer is to do with confidence and the fear of rejection. You need the attitude that a No is just one nearer a Yes!

Londoner Grabs 90-odd Potential Dates

Singleton Jeremy, who had a stall selling himself in north London last weekend, collected lots of phone numbers and one date. Check it out on the BBC News website - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4628293.stm

See the original article and my comments at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4118232.stm


And if you want to practice your chattup skills, join my flirting safari. Go to http://www.spalton.co.uk/event.htm