It takes two people to make a lie work, one to say the untruth and the other to accept it as true. Here's seven steps to help you work out whether what they're telling you is the whole truth.
1. Suppress your own emotions and thoughts, just observe and listen.
2. Notice any physiological signs of nerves - sweating, fast shallow breaths, dry mouth, fidgets, hand wringing, lack of concentration.
3. Observe their hand and eye movements - hand to face, stiff movements, eyes looking down, staring.
4. Listen to the tone of their voice - quivering, flat and monotone, stilted and rehearsed, formal ("do not" rather than "don't"), garbled.
5. Think about what they're saying - sounds too good to be true, too much detail (long list of facts), long winded, disclaimers ("let me assure you"), finished with an afterthought ("and by the way").
6. Pause when they've finished and watch for their tension release.
7. Challenge them and see how they react - defensive posture, partial shrug, false smile, humour or sarcasm, mumble, indignant ("don't be ridiculous"), incredulous ("I'd never lie to you").
Thursday, January 14, 2010
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